We can have many relatives, but children are dearer than all, therefore their loss is felt at times stronger than parting with any other close person. One thought that it is necessary to survive the death of a newborn child, like a knife, opens the heart. Many mothers who have passed through such a test say that they would rather give their lives, if only the baby was all right. But over time, emotions subside, and the couple decides on a new child, finding consolation in it. Therefore, the most difficult period will be the first year after a sad event, when all feelings are exacerbated, and any reminder of the loss responds with acute pain.
How can parents survive the death of a child?
In children we see our continuation, we dream about their future, so the death of a child is perceived as the loss of a part of ourselves, it is not easy for both parents to survive it. Such a test can forever separate the family, but if the spouses pass it together, they are unlikely to part because of minor dislocations. Perhaps the following tips will help to cope with grief.
- Do not reject any of your emotions, each of them will be justified. There is nothing wrong with experiencing sadness, fear, guilt and even anger. It was believed that there are several stages that a person goes through, taking the loss of loved ones, and at each stage a certain emotion prevails. But often it happens that the feelings are not subject to any timetables, so do not try to analyze anything yet, just accept all your feelings. Remember that they mourn everything in different ways, so do not make claims to the spouse, who does it differently than you do. Let him express his emotions in the usual way.
- Having realized and accepting feelings that are overwhelming, try to get rid of irrational ones that do not help to survive grief, but only kindle it with new strength. This is a feeling of guilt or anger (on yourself, your spouse or doctors, that did not do enough). Believe me, you did your best, if there was a way out, you would find it.
- After such severe emotional stress , a period of numbness may come when one does not want anything, and everything happens as if in a dream. Do not be afraid of such a stupor, it is quite natural after all the tests that have fallen to your lot, with time it will pass, simply the body needs time to recover.
- Go to work with your head or take a vacation, think that the best way to help you at least a little distraction from suffering. But do not go to work only because of a sense of responsibility, since the likelihood of large failures is great, which will exacerbate an already difficult emotional situation.
- If you are a religious person, try to find solace in your faith. Of course, such a tragedy can greatly shake your religious views, but perhaps performing traditional rituals will help you. If you do not have the strength to stick to your religion, do not force yourself, take a breather. And do not consider this behavior a betrayal, no one can condemn you for such actions.
- The first year after the loss of emotion is particularly strong, so try in this period not to take any fateful decisions, wait until you regain the ability to reason.
- Try not to forget about yourself: sleep enough, eat normally, drink plenty of water, do not abuse alcohol, and do not take medicines that are not prescribed by your doctor.
- Mothers are very difficult to survive the death of a newborn child without such powerful support as communication with relatives and friends. But you may think that they can not understand your pain, so talking with them will not bring relief. After such an opening, do not become withdrawn in yourself, find other like-minded people, except for the husband who shares with you grief. Send to forums and special communities, where people find comfort, united by a common grief.
- Find a way to honor your child's memory. Make an album with his photos, become a movement activist, helping children with the same problems that caused the death of your child. Light the candle in memory of your baby and all the dead children.
- Not everyone manages to go this way on their own, so do not hesitate to contact the therapist for help, that would ask a specialist,
how to survive the death of a child. Perhaps it is he who will find the words that will give you the opportunity to come out of the protracted state of mourning.
It is not known that it is more difficult to survive such tragedy itself or to see how the native and beloved suffer. Unfortunately, there are not so many ways to help survive the death of a young child. We can only be the best interlocutor who is ready to share the pain of loss. Of course, it is possible to advise something (for example, to consult a specialist), but this must be done very carefully, because the grieving person is unlikely to think soberly, and will act under the influence of emotions.