When you meet a person who makes you feel special, and hope that your union will be eternal, life revolves around that feeling. It seems that everything is wonderful and it will always be so. However, over time, the behavior of your spouse or just a loved one is changing; first you ignore "alarming bells" or really do not notice them. After a while, the truth becomes known: your beloved person has committed treason.
Your life spins into a tailspin, perhaps you want the culprit to experience the same pain and humiliation that you feel. The pain can be so strong that you lose your personality for a while, stop being yourself. There can be many questions, attempts to understand what happened. As a rule, everyone has his own opinion about the causes of what happened.
However, in a state of confusion and stress, everyone forgets that in the situation the deep-seated or unrecognized needs of their partner played a significant role. And if you remember about this, then there comes a stage in which a couple can assess the viability of their relationship, the potential for change and their desire to change. Gradually there are forces and an opportunity for forgiveness. It does not matter if you decide to stay or go - in any case, you need to correct emotional alienation from men in general and your partner in particular. Forgiveness is very important.
How to survive the betrayal of a loved one?
- Accept your feelings . In the emotional whirlwind into which you are involved, at the same time there is anger, fear and a sense of loss. Real "roller coaster". Take a break, give yourself a break and realize that you are not going crazy. Others felt the same pain and confusion when they learned about the betrayal of their loved ones, but they survived. What you are experiencing is a normal reaction to an acutely traumatic experience. You feel so bad not only that your relationship has lost integrity. It is pain from losing the illusion that you are special. It may seem paradoxical, but just at the moment when we recognize our pain, it becomes much weaker.
- Do not let emotion overwhelm you . Watch how your thoughts and emotions get out of control. Now there will be a temptation to scroll a thousand times in your head, as your beloved person has lied to you, details of betrayal and previous events.
- Perhaps you decide to go to work or a hobby . This will help to cope with a sense of anxiety and emptiness, but since you really want to forget the betrayal of a loved one, you will have to slow down, resist the pain and decide what you will do next.
- Ask yourself: "Will I leave or stay?" . Whatever you decide, the decision must be weighed. It does not matter how strong your emotions are. Subsequently, you can regret your rash hasty actions.
- Extract the lesson from this story . Most women (and men) tend to blame their partner for all the complexities of the union. Nobody wants to recognize their own part of the blame, especially, to do it sincerely. Nobody thinks about the real causes of what happened, it is much more convenient
give a simplified version and indulge in despair or a thirst for revenge.
You can not change what has happened to you, but you must take responsibility for how you handle the situation now.
There are two dangerous mistaken strategies. The first is to stay together and never remember and not think about why the betrayal happened. The second is to try even harder so that it does not happen again. I think, it is not necessary to say that this is an unhealthy option that betrays the perfect lack of love and respect for oneself.
There are also two viable alternatives. Accept what happened, and work together to improve your relationship. The second option is to say goodbye and start each one's own life.
It is at this stage you should think about how to really forgive the betrayal of a loved one.
But it is the real cause of betrayal that will help both of you make the right decision: stay together or let go of each other. And it is forgiveness and acceptance of each other that can open your eyes and your partner.
When you think about how to survive the betrayal of a loved one, you can forget about one thing. Closing in the resentment of the world and men (or women) - does not mean "survive." Accept what happened, deal with it and open up to new joyful events - that's real forgiveness and a fulfilling life that awaits you ahead.