Moral suffering is often borne by us more than physical inconveniences. For example, a constant sense of guilt - it persecutes us, causing suffering. But it is worthwhile to distinguish between the state when we are really to blame for the situation, and an unreasonable sense of guilt. How to get rid of feelings of guilt in the second case and we will understand.
The causes of guilt
A guilty feeling, even if it is not caused by concrete actions, always has causes. Here are the most common of them:
- Often there is a sense of guilt before the parents, which usually begins in childhood. Parents tell us that we are the best and as a result we are afraid not to live up to our expectations. And, if something does not work out, then we begin to execute ourselves, feel guilty before our parents, who have done so much so that we have everything well, and we have incorrectly disposed of these possibilities. There is another extreme, which the parents fall into when they bring up - the child is always set as an example of someone more fortunate. Growing up, such a person continues to receive from his parents instructions and examples of other more successful people, parents do not hide disappointment from the fact that they could not grow a successful businessman, the luminary of science, etc. And the sense of guilt, cultivated by caring parents since childhood, does not disappear anywhere, it persecutes a person all his life.
- It is also difficult to cope with a sense of guilt over the deceased. In fact, a person can be not at all guilty of the death of a loved one, but he still feels guilty. Often this feeling seems to have logical justifications, for example, "if I did not ask to go to the store in the evening, he would not have stumbled on a dark staircase and would not have died to death."
- In the appearance of this feeling, the stereotypes and norms of behavior imposed on us can also be to blame. Doing something contrary to the rules of conduct (we are not talking about crimes right now, of course,), we begin to feel guilty, ashamed of what was done. Although it may be, in general, an innocent prank. In this case, a person has a state of anxiety and self-doubt. All that is said, he takes at his own expense, all slanting views, all signs are considered as harbingers of misfortune.
- The hardest thing is to get rid of the feelings of guilt imposed on us by other people! There is a type of people who do not know how to admit their mistakes, they constantly blame others. And this is so convincing that a person really begins to believe that in all the failures and blunders of others only he is guilty.
How to get rid of a constant sense of guilt
Living with a sense of guilt is very hard, so try to get rid of it. Here are some tips to help you do this:
- A calm analysis of the current situation will help to get rid of feelings of guilt. You need to think carefully, to trace at what stage a sense of guilt appeared and soberly assess whether you are to blame for what happened or this combination of circumstances. If you do not, then the feeling of guilt should come to naught. If, in the current situation, your fault is present, it will not be superfluous to promise yourself that in the future you will be more careful in calculating your actions. Promise yourself that this will not happen again, but let the problem go.
- In childhood we were taught how to cope with feelings of guilt, in adulthood this method also works. We must sincerely ask forgiveness from the person before whom you feel guilty. If there is no way to tell him this personally, then just imagine the image of this person or express all your regret of his photo. Religious people are often helped by visiting the church, confession, prayer for the offended person.
- Who do not like close people help us deal with problems? In the case of a sense of guilt, their help will not be superfluous either. Discuss with the person whom you trust, the situation that has arisen, utter completely. We sometimes need not so much forgiveness, but simply the opportunity to share our experiences with someone.
- A good way to get rid of feelings of guilt is to describe everything that disturbs you, on a piece of paper. After the written it should be re-read, and then burn the leaf or tear it into small pieces and discard it.
- If you tried all the ways, but the guilt does not think to retreat, then you should ask for help from a specialist. The psychologist will help you to solve this problem.