Do you remember the parable of the white monkey? When Haju Nasreddin was asked what is the secret of immortality, he replied that the secret is simple - not to think about the white monkey. It is not difficult to guess what the student who dared to question later thought about.
Asking the thought not to do something, we concentrate on this attention and, therefore, we are increasingly returning to the problem. Let's move the focus of the effort a little and learn how to stop thinking about a bad past, about a former boyfriend (perhaps still beloved), changing the way of life.
Step One: Forgiveness and Acceptance
Resentment and anger will poison the heart wound and negate all efforts to heal it: yours, and time. Understand that you can not punish a person in the accumulated offense, just as you can not and will not be able to stop thinking about him. Therefore, just for yourself, forgive him. For this, you do not even need to meet, just imagine (a guy or a situation from the past as a whole), ask for forgiveness and forgive. Accept the fact that the past happened. You can not change it, and thoughts and bad emotions are just an anchor in that ill-fated place where everything happened. He will not let you move on. And ahead we have so many interesting things!
Step Two: Removing Reminders
How can you stop thinking about a man whose picture is hanging on your desktop? When "your song" plays 100 times a day in your playlist. If you sleep, hiding behind a rug, donated to them on the birthday. It's time to get ready with the spirit, collect all the reminders about him and hide them away. They will not disappear anywhere (unless, of course, you decide to burn them or throw them away). But they will leave the first plan. And, believe me, to reconcile with their absence will be much easier than devoting the precious time of each day to painful memories.
Step Three: Changing Life
It's time to change your life, to move from the past to the present. For this:
- leave less free time. We devote more time to work, study, noisy meetings with friends (avoid sitting around in a small company where frank conversations and memories are too easy to come up with). Ideally, the idea of "how to stop thinking about a beloved man" should be replaced by "where to take a couple of hours in a day";
- find yourself a hobby. You do not know how to embroider a cross, wool or cook soap? Fortunately, in the world there is a hobby for everyone. For example, dancing or learning a foreign language. Do not be afraid to participate in competitions, to communicate with the whole world. It is important for you to feel how big this world is and how much interesting it is in it;
- We travel. Having mobilized your forces, you can afford a long trip (ideally - take a vacation and live in another country), however, you can start with a detailed study of the surrounding area. Wherever you live, you will always find interesting places and facts that you had no idea about. It is not a bad idea to invite friends from other places to study your lands together;
- we change ourselves. Have you changed your hair style for a long time? Did you experiment with style?
Bought a new toilet water? It's time to give more love to yourself, to find your happy and beautiful "I"; - take care of others. The tenderness accumulated during the days of suffering can be splashed out by giving care to others. For example, an animal. Or people in need of your warmth. Love is a feeling that the world needs and will need forever. It's good that you have the energy of love, only you need to channel it into another channel. You should feel the joy that your feelings are needed, and other hearts resonate with them. If it's hard for you to communicate with other people, give love to your loved ones. Believe me, this is a wonderful investment of your love, which will bring very high interest.