How to stop feeling sorry for yourself?

No one cares about us better than ourselves. Only we know all our problems and have access to ourselves at any time of the day. Maybe that's why sometimes a feeling comes to us, like self-pity. At this moment it begins to seem that the whole world is set up, if not against, then certainly indifferent. The feeling of pity gradually captures all consciousness, preventing the search for a way out of the difficult situation that has arisen.

Psychology of self-pity

Self-pity can appear in different situations, and have both positive and negative coloring.

A feeling of pity can be positive in the event that a person is tired of the multitude of cases that he has taken on himself by his own or someone else's will. In this case, having regretted himself, a person can reconsider his workload and refuse any business.

Pity is a bad feeling when it does not have creativity and has no good reason. Often self-pity is part of selfishness.

It can be considered normal if self-pity appears in difficult or critical situations. She can accompany a person for several days, but in the end it is important that in her place came the desire and strength to solve the situation, rather than mourn her.

How to get rid of self-pity?

Psychologists offer such exercises as stopping oneself from regretting:

  1. Write a list of what you have, what the people around you might envy: a car, an apartment, a good job, parents, children, health, family, loved one, intellect .
  2. Think about those people who are much worse than you: homeless, orphaned, childless, disabled, etc. But maybe you could help them something?
  3. Write down five options for what the benefits can be from the situation. For example, you threw a guy. Pros of this: there is a better one; could give up later, and even with the child; its essence was revealed; again you have freedom.
  4. Write down every day all the good, what happened for the day. This can be turned into a kind of game: the five best moments of the day.
  5. Forbid yourself to feel sorry for yourself and complain about others. If you stick to this rule for at least a week, you will notice how life has become more enjoyable.
  6. Allow yourself to regret yourself, but no more than two days. These days you can arrange a feast of pity for yourself: to sit in a cafe, buy new clothes, lie in bed all day, etc. The main thing is that you fully indulge yourself and prepare for further action.