People are very afraid of losing what is dear to them, and this is also true of their loved ones. However, we are often confused, trying to keep not those whom we love, but those who are simply strongly attached. And by doing so, we hurt ourselves and others. How to distinguish love from affection? The question is relevant for many, but it is not so easy to find an answer to it.
Attachment and love: the main differences
Before solving the problem, how to determine the love or affection you experience for a person, you need to firmly understand what the concepts themselves are different from. Love is a bright feeling that brings joy, spirituality, gives "wings", helps to see life from a new attractive side. Attachment is, in fact, a habit that simply gives you the opportunity to "somehow" survive another day without going beyond your comfort zone. It does not carry development, does not give new strength, and often, on the contrary, takes them away, forcing the dependent person to feel deeply unhappy.
How to understand love or affection?
Of course, there are no exact criteria for distinguishing love from attachment. But some of their opposite signs psychologists still revealed:
- Attachment is the presence of physical attraction in the absence of deep emotional attraction, as well as "uneven" emotions - "I love, I do not like".
- True love - as a rule, it is an even and constant feeling, resulting from the person's own confidence in him, if there are doubts - then this is most likely just an attachment.
- A constant sense of inner "squeezing" is attachment, love, on the contrary, gives strength in spite of everything.
- The desire to demand from a partner that he was always there, focused only on you, met your expectations - this is also an attachment, because love is unselfish.