Egoism is a character trait that demonstrates not the best side of personality. Egoists are living hard, as well as all their surroundings. As a result, there is a vicious circle of endless discontent. The most unpleasant thing about this is that selfishness is a quality not congenital, but acquired, often cherished by loving parents in childhood. What to do if the child is selfish, how it happened and whether it is possible to correct the situation - we will discuss these issues further.
Healthy selfishness of the child
It can not be said that it is necessary to prevent the development of selfishness from diapers. From the very birth for the child, selfishness is the norm and the only way to survive. During the first year of life, as soon as something is needed or not liked by the crumb, he reports this with a loud cry. The kid does not think about others, about their desires or needs, it is important for him that all his needs are met. Growing up a bit, the child learns to crawl , walk, talk, the attention of the whole family is still focused on him, but it's too early to talk about selfishness. A turning point comes when the child begins to realize his "I", separate himself from others, oppose. Usually this happens to three years, when the pronoun "I" appears in the speech. At this stage of interaction with the society, one must also look for ways to prevent the formation of selfishness.
Typical errors of parents
Often parents do not catch this age line and continue to persuade the child in all ways that he is the best, the only one, etc. Despite the consciousness of the baby, the fact that he can already explain much, parents avoid prohibitions, continuing to satisfy the slightest "I want, give, me." The child necessarily grows selfish, if parents, grandmothers and grandfathers always try to give only the best, most tasty morsel, "I'll take myself worse, but this one is better for you". Moms and dads forget that it's time for the child to learn how to help, they put their toys on themselves, take away the scattered things and do not even think that they form a big problem in the future.
Methods for preventing and correcting the situation
- Nobody says that in order to prevent the development of selfishness, the child's talents need to be diminished or underestimated. On the contrary, to form a full-fledged personality, continue to praise the baby, just do not overdo it and compare his successes with the successes of other children. If he painted a beautiful flower, do not focus on the fact that he did it better than Katie or Vanya, tell me that the flower was even more beautiful than the last time.
- Strangely enough, give your child much attention so that he does not have the need to "beat out" tears and whims. If a child always knows that he is needed, that he is loved, he grows in a comfortable atmosphere, he does not come in constant struggle for attention, and will gladly think of others, since others think of him.
- Learn not to be manipulated by the child. If you once said "no", bend your line to the end. Otherwise, the child very quickly learns how to achieve the desired with dishonest means, without caring about the interests of others, and this is the direct path to selfishness.
- Be sure to show the child an example of caring for others. Do not give him the last candy, but divide it between him and dad. Show how happy you are if the child helped to fold his books. Taking the kid from the kindergarten, ask not only about what he did today, but also about what his friends did, what figures they made from plasticine, what they drew, etc.
And, finally, noticing the signs of selfish behavior, do not panic, do not punish the child. A selected toy in a sandbox or a ball in a physical education class is not yet an excuse to draw conclusions. Watch the child, think about what mistakes you made in the upbringing and try to gradually put everything in its place.