Despite the fact that female loneliness can cause a lot of gossip, an increasing number of women are in no hurry to find a breadwinner and a defender in the person of a man. And it's not just that many modern ladies are able to "kill a mammoth" themselves, the main reasons are hidden in the confusion of gender roles and changes in society.
Psychology of a lonely woman
Loneliness of a woman for many centuries was considered a proof of some "defectiveness" of the lady, old maidens, for example, always were under a hail of ridicule. Currently, an unmarried woman is not surprising. Psychologists believe that the desire for solitude is a signal that indicates the existence of reasons that prevent a woman from starting a family. Over time, some of these reasons cease to have an impact, and the lady ceases to avoid men. Sometimes a woman becomes so used to being alone that she can not get rid of loneliness.
Psychological sources of female loneliness:
- overestimated or understated self-esteem - "I am beautiful, I'm worthy only of the prince", "I'm ugly, I do not need anyone";
- education in the spirit of feminization - "I must be strong, I can do everything myself, I do not need a man";
- fixation on motherhood - "A child should have the best father", "A child is the most important person for a woman".
Causes of female loneliness
To understand why so many single women, one should study the causes of loneliness. Among the more common psychologists call the following:
- Self - sufficiency is the most common reason to be lonely. Such a woman does not need to prove anything to others - she is respected for her success and independence.
- Overstated requirements for a man is a factor that filters out all candidates, and often leads to female loneliness.
- Negative experience - often women seek solitude and fear new relationships due to the fact that in the past they suffered through the fault of men. Sometimes the girl experiences unsuccessful experience in the family of her parents.
- The unfree lover is another factor that is the cause of female loneliness. In this case, the other woman simply does not consider other candidates.
- Unwillingness and unwillingness to create a family - such women tend to get a lot of pleasures from life, responsibility for their family attracts little, like male bachelors.
Pros and cons of woman's loneliness
A single independent woman in her position sees a lot of advantages: she feels successful, free, beautiful, admirable. For this attractive picture, despair, a sense of own uselessness can hide. And even quite happy in their lonely ladies can sometimes feel the lack of warmth and closeness of a loved one.
Pros of woman loneliness
The answer to the question, why women choose solitude, is given by sociologists. In their opinion, it is much easier for women now to live alone than in the family. The lady in this case has much less responsibilities and worries, she has time to monitor her appearance and take care of her health, engage in self-improvement, travel and have fun. Some of these factors indicate the infantilism of a woman. Very often a lady who does not want to create a family deliberately chooses such partners with whom marriage is impossible, for example, married.
What is dangerous loneliness for a woman?
The woman gets used to loneliness and ceases to need any relations - this is the main danger of this situation. In addition, having become accustomed to independence, a lady may lose the skills of communicating with the opposite sex. In this case, even wanting to lose independence, a woman will not be able to build relationships, create a strong family.
The complexity of a single woman can arise:
- with a breakdown requiring a man's hands - then she will have to call "husband for an hour" or ask for a favor from a colleague or relative;
- in the company of married couples - if all the friends and girlfriends of a single lady have families, it will be less and less inviting for a joint pastime;
- with a high need for sex - with a temporary partner it is difficult to count on regular sex , and even more so - at a time when you really want it, and not when there is an opportunity.
How to live a lonely woman?
The question of what to do with a single woman, can only arise from a person deprived of imagination. She does not need to account to anyone, loneliness in this case is equal to freedom. Of course, without the availability of significant financial resources, many entertainments to the lady will be unavailable. However, women's loneliness gives a lot of prospects for:
- studies;
- creation of own business;
- tourist trips;
- playing sports;
- communicating with friends;
- hobbies;
- creativity;
- building a career.
Successful women are lonely often, but if this factor is associated with purposefulness and self-confidence , these ladies always know what they want from life. Energy, which could be directed at a man or children, in this case is spent on something else. Among the talented and endowed with high intelligence people are very many single people who have found happiness in their personal lives. Women who chose solitude:
- Sophie Germain - mathematician, mechanic, philosopher, proved "The first case" of Fermat's theorem.
- Sofya Kovalevskaya - mathematician, writer, worked as a professor of the Department of Mathematics at the University of Stockholm.
- Barbara McClintock - a geneticist, discovered the movement of genes, Nobel laureate.
- Camilla Claudel is a sculptor, student of Auguste Rodin.
- Grace Murray Hopper is a mathematician, a programmer, thanks to her the first programming language of COBOL appeared.
How can a woman get rid of loneliness?
For many years, a woman living a free life can once realize that she lacks a caring and loving person, a sense of need, peace and security that is possible only next to a reliable and understanding partner. Then there may come a time when the question arises - how to deal with the loneliness of a woman. To get rid of loneliness, you need:
- find out the causes of loneliness - this can help a psychologist, a friend;
- change attitudes towards oneself - stop obsessing over imaginary and real virtues and shortcomings, just fall in love with yourself;
- carefully look at the surrounding men - perhaps very close to a man who will end female loneliness.
Women's loneliness is Orthodox
Women's loneliness in Orthodoxy is condemned or sympathetic. Orthodox priests hold the view that a woman can not and should be lonely, and to realize her destiny - to become a wife and mother - she can only next to a reliable person. It is no accident for a long time that the Orthodox priest must be married - the church praises the church's value very highly.
Single female celebrities
Widespread stereotype that fame and wealth is happiness, but talent and popularity often choose to be lonely companions. And even with the mass of admirers and husbands, these great single women often felt unhappy and useless to anyone:
- Gia Maria Karanji is a supermodel of the 70s, who died of AIDS.
- Marilyn Monroe is an actress who died from an overdose of sleeping pills.
- Maria Callas - the singer, the lover of Aristotle Onassis, died at 53 years in complete solitude.
Many famous beauties of the actress still prefer solitude:
- Charlize Theron - twice married, but chose solitude.
- Catherine Deneuve - was unhappy in a single marriage, out of wedlock gave birth to two children.
- Sharon Stone - dreamed of a family, but after two short marriages she chose to raise adopted children.
- Susan Sarandon - a long marriage with Tim Robins ended with a break, after which the actress went to the "free flight".
Movies about women's solitude
Movies about single women who will be interesting to a wide audience:
- The Red Desert / Il Deserto Rosso (1964). The film tells about the spiritual torments of the main character Juliana, who, although married, feels alone.
- Three colors: Blue / Trois Couleurs: Bleu (1993). After the death of the family, the emotionally devastated heroine remains in deep seclusion. But music brings her back to life.
- The Hours (2002). The lives of three heroines of different epochs are connected by one book - the novel by Virginia Woolf "Mrs. Dalloway".
- Malena / Malena (2000). A film about a woman whose beauty has become a real curse.