Every woman wants to have a caring partner nearby. But unfortunately, it happens that an attentive man turns out to be a real domestic despot. Many women themselves do not understand how they failed to consider this dangerous quality in their chosen one. But more pressing is the question not "where were my eyes", and what to do if a man is a tyrant and a despot, how to live with him, and most importantly, whether it is worth doing.
What does "family despot" mean?
When it comes to despots in the family, a husband seems to be a drunk who regularly beats his wife. But the meaning of the word "despot" is much broader, a person who does not use physical violence against his or her loved ones can fall under such a definition. Despotism can also be expressed in compelling fulfillment of another person's desires, humiliation, constant prohibitions. It is especially unpleasant that a husband turns into a tyrant and a despot not at once, often everything begins with innocent whims, covered up with a manifestation of sincere care. Therefore, to recognize such a person is not easy, the following moments in behavior should alert.
- Despot-tyranny. He constantly criticizes you, says that you are doing everything wrong. And when you start acting on his pointer, there are occasions for new nit-picking, and often reproaching you, he contradicts himself.
- Often insists on his own, explaining that everything does for you, says that it will be better for you. But for some reason it forgets to ask your opinion or, after asking, does not hear it.
- It forbids you to work in general or in any particular organization, and all its arguments can be reduced to the phrase "I do not want".
- Jealousy, often not justified, which is called "to every pillar."
- Prohibitions on the use of cosmetics, the purchase of new things, justified by the fact that your husband already has you and so you do not have to preen for anyone.
- Do not allow to communicate with relatives, friends and friends or choose with whom you can be friends, and with whom not.
- Imposes his own point of view, interests, a certain pattern of behavior, because only his actions and desires can be true.
- A husband is a cruel despot and a tyrant and will not refuse from assault.
The reasons for which a man makes to fulfill his will, can be very different:
- lower status of wife;
- material dependence on the husband;
- general secret.
Usually, people with very low self-esteem try to humiliate others, trying to prove their worth in this way. By the way, a woman can also be a despot, imposing her will, more often children than her husband. But more often the despot in the family is not the mother, but the father. As a result of such upbringing, the child also grows despot, taking the line of behavior of one of the parents or growing up with a huge number of complexes and low self-esteem, which is then compensated by the humiliation of the weaker.
How to behave with a man if he is a tyrant and a despot?
If the case is not started, then the behavior of the tyrant can be corrected, giving him a rebuff. It is possible that he will look for other forms of behavior. So, how to deal with a despot?
- Confidently answer his nit-picking, do not let a man humiliate you.
- If there are children, do not forget about them. Try to talk to your husband about them.
- If you constantly criticize your husband about how you cook and do other housework, stop doing something for him. Let him do everything himself, as he likes.
- Often women who fall under the rule of a domestic tyrant think that they are unworthy of the best. To avoid this, increase your self-esteem, achieve good results,
even if it is embroidered with a cross. So you expand the circle of people who will respect you, and this will help you understand that you are worthy of a good attitude to yourself. Communicate more often with friends who value your opinion. - Not quite common in our way - an appeal to a family psychologist, perhaps it will help you cope with problems. Although, for the full work requires the presence of your husband.
It also happens that nothing can help, the oppression of family tyranny does not stop, the husband willingly dismisses his hands, mocks the children, in this case there is no other way out - we must leave.