Affection or love?

Feelings towards another person are easier to impose emotional dimension than reasonable. What if there were doubts about the nature of the relationship? In this article, we will understand how love differs from attachment.

Let's start with clear definitions:

Love is an unconditional feeling in relation to another person, not causing negative emotions and motivations. Sincere and light wish of happiness to the beloved.

Attachment is a conditional feeling for another person. It causes negative emotions: fear of loss, dependence, pain, etc. A jealous feeling of one or another expectation from another person.

It should be understood that there are practically no "clean" relations by definition. Most often we experience a mixture of both in different proportions.

Sometimes there are erroneous conclusions about why attachment is stronger than love. Long-term relationships are overgrown with conventions and habits - they create the impression of strong emotions. It is logical to assume that by giving your energy to another person for some time, you include it in the category of the most indispensable.

How to distinguish the emotionality of love from the emotionality of affection? The question itself already testifies in favor of the latter concept. Another sign is strong negative emotions, they are not inherent in love.

The ability to love is given to a person from birth, as a talent. But to comprehend this feeling, to bring your ability to love to perfection is the occupation of all life. Including, it is important to learn to clearly understand the difference between attachment and love. It must be understood that everyone means by their "love" something of their own. The best way to avoid the collapse of illusions and feelings of anxiety is to discuss your vision of feelings with your partner.

On the question: how to understand, I experience love or affection - psychologists suggest to search for the answer with the help of the following exercise. You need to imagine that you and your partner have broken up a long time ago, and now you just remember about those relationships. What is remembered: the joy of the presence of this person in your life or painful emotions of dependence and expectations associated with it? Another practice: you need to imagine a few dear to you people in the "room of love." It is easy to perceive all the images, associations and objects that came to mind, writing them down or drawing them. You will understand how you feel about this or that person.

The answer to the question, whether love can be called affection, is the behavior of the person himself. The one who loves, is always active, and one who is tied up and is the owner, can be and is aggressive.