A woman nowadays strives to be everywhere and always first. Perfect figure, makeup, wardrobe, perfect order in the house, rapid advancement on the career ladder, personal life succeeded - it's not even all that the modern lady wants to achieve. And this is not bad, but very commendable. However, as you know, everything is good in moderation. Excessive, fanatical and constant striving for an ideal result we call perfectionism. Such, at first glance, a noble occupation can bring every person to a nervous breakdown, and this, in turn, leads to a constant nervous overstrain, depression. Knowingly, the disease of women of the 21st century is perfectionism, so it is so necessary to understand how to fight it.
First, let's look at the meaning of the word perfectionism in psychology. From the point of view of science, under pefectionism is understood a sharpened desire for excellence, which can relate both to one's personality and to any kind of activity. There is a healthy and pathological perfectionism. With a healthy person is able to experience only a slight degree of excitement, his attention is focused on their own capabilities and ways to achieve their goals. By setting high goals and overcoming the path to achieve them, a person experiences pleasure. Pathological perfectionism means that a person sets himself for himself unachievable goals and moves towards them not because of ambition and pleasure, but because of fear of failure. As a result, the pursuit of the ideal turns into self-torture.
From where does the desire for the ideal come?
The causes of such unhealthy perfectionism are most often laid down in childhood by parents. Perhaps they showed you their behavior that if you do not show an excellent result in something, then praise and attention you do not see. This is how the underestimated self-esteem and the fear of feeling like a loser develop. It often happens that in adulthood no one requires an ideal result, but you need it for yourself - to make up for your own self-esteem, to prove to yourself that you are worth something.
How to deal with perfectionism?
If you have noticed that striving for a better life has not brought you pleasure for a long time, then in the treatment of perfectionism such small but practical advice will help you:
- Learn to prioritize, differentiate goals in terms of importance, and distribute your efforts in the most effective manner.
- Give yourself the right to not always be perfect in anything, because everyone has his own criterion of excellence and you will not please everyone.
- In order to maintain your physical and emotional state it is important to learn to relax, alternate work and rest.
- If possible, it is advisable to take breaks and after a while look at the work that you have already done with a fresh look. Perhaps it is not as bad as you thought at first glance.
- Grant yourself the right to some mistakes and criticism in your address, because criticism means interest in your work and belief that you can better.
- As little as possible compare yourself to others and do not scold yourself for failure, take them as some kind of integral part of life.
- It is very important to learn to praise yourself, to see in yourself not only flaws, but also virtues and often remind yourself of them.
- Finally, find yourself an occupation for the soul, for the sake of pleasure, not result.
Often it seems to us that perfectionists are the standards of success, much happier and happier than us. However, these are people who are always dissatisfied with themselves, they are in constant discomfort and do not know spiritual well-being. To finally get rid of perfectionism, it is important to remember that the world will not reach perfection, so you should not demand from him and yourself impossible.