Probably, there is no such mother who never had to raise her voice to her child. It happens that the teacher screams at children, and parents do not know how to treat this. And it is true that our children sometimes seem so uncontrollable that the cry is seen as the last and only effective means of education. But is it? Or do we just scream from fatigue, or from the fact that we are simply too lazy to look for a quieter and more conflict-free approach to the child? Surely, many parents know the feeling of guilt in front of their child for having once broken up on him, "bent over the stick." So let's figure it out so that there are no more reasons for this heavy feeling, can you scream at children?
Children can not be screamed
If you are reading this article, then you probably do not need to explain why you can not shout at the child. When we shout, we lose negative energy, and the one we shout at (along with all those present), gets this energy. That's why, by the way, the mother should not scream not only at the child, but also in his presence to swear at the guilty husband or even on the naskodivshuyu cat. If your husband cries at the baby, you also need to find a way to nip it. A small child, having received a portion of negative emotions, himself becomes infected with anger, aggression and simply does not know where to now all this to put. And then, because of the individual characteristics, each child chooses his own way:
- "Give it back . " In this case, parents receive as a result a child-bully, a child-aggressor. Is it necessary to explain that, after growing up, such a person will experience difficulties in communication.
- "Ask for supplements . " Such a child does not show aggression, but seems to be cheerfully mischievous, harmful, again and again taking the parents out of themselves. In adulthood, such a child can become a provocateur of conflicts, as he will not be able to communicate with people without protest, sarcasm and sarcasm.
- "Fence off . " Being afraid of negative emotions, such a child closes in himself, begins to avoid live communication, preferring to him viewing cartoons, computer games and the Internet.
- "Punish yourself on your own . " Receiving disapproval of parents, the child begins to think that he is not worthy of a good relationship, love. An inferiority complex develops, a child can act to the detriment of himself.
- "Sacrifice their desires, if only my mother did not scream . " At first glance - the ideal child, striving to become the most obedient. But in fact, such a child does not like and does not value himself, is ready to tolerate unpleasant manifestations on the part of other people, to do everything the way others want. Such a person does not develop self-esteem, which hinders the development of personality, self-realization.
The joke is that in the natural state we act with our children in the same way as our parents did with us. And if you are lucky and you grew up in a quiet and calm environment, you simply will not come to mind to break this calm in your life by shouting or other manifestations of violent emotions. Perhaps the only exception is a lot of stress. And if they tried to influence you in childhood as a scream, it will be difficult for you not to use this tool in case of child disobedience.
It turns out that in order to properly educate their children, we should ideally, first of all, deal with their own psychological problems: clamps, complexes. It's a long way, but you have to get up on it and, let it be slow, but go for it. Self-control and alternative ways of splashing emotions will also help.
Remember that it's we, the parents, who are laying the matrix of our children's communication with other people. And the calmer and more comfortable the psychological atmosphere in the parental home, the more happy and bright life will live a new person.