Features of communication between adolescents and adults
The adolescent age is full of contradictions and paradoxes. Mood swings, nervousness, increased attention to themselves, their appearance and their perception of others, sentimentality, the desire to be "like everyone else" and not less surprisingly combined with arrogance, harshness, the desire to refute established rules and axioms, stand out from the crowd. At this time, all moral principles and views on life are reconsidered, and even the most obedient and exemplary angel children can turn into unbearable and unruly teenagers. Many parents experience difficulties without knowing how to communicate with a difficult teenager, and in some of the most radical cases, the conflicts that began at that time develop and continue for many years, splitting the family and depriving its members of the opportunity to live in peace and harmony. Adolescents are shy and at the same time cheeky (mostly demonstratively), and during this period, communication in the family often becomes quite tense. Let's consider how to teach a teenager to communicate.
How to communicate with the son of a teenager?
- Respect his views and opinions.
- Do not try to control it in everything.
- Maintain it in an effort to look good. Your son is learning to build relationships with girls and your job is to help him with this. This does not mean that you should look for his girlfriends or comment on the appearance and behavior of all his familiar girls. Just help him feel more confident.
- Let him choose his own friends. If you see that he fell under the influence of an unfavorable company, do not tell him your protest in categorical form, do not forbid to see friends - this will entail only a protest and the son's separation from you. Prohibitions you will achieve only one thing - the son will hide from you "bad" friends and classes. Agree, it is unlikely that this is what you are striving for.
How to communicate with a teenage daughter?
- Do not forbid her to dress and paint the way she wants. Better help her learn how to choose outfits and makeup. Adolescents tend to inadequately assess their appearance and your task is to help your daughter to accept and love yourself.
- Listen to her opinion, do not reject her ideas or suggestions without adequate reasoning.
- Avoid strict control - the forbidden fruit is sweet, and adolescents tend to do everything in defiance of orders.
- Avoid negative value judgments ("look terrible", "you do everything against us", "you behave disgustingly"). Express your thoughts "I-judgments" ("I'm very upset by your behavior," "let me help," "I'm worried").
No matter what sex your child is, remember, he is an independent person and has the right to remain. Give the teenager the opportunity to live his own life, make decisions and feel grown-up. This does not mean that you should "let things go on your own" and allow your son or daughter to do anything. Just respect them and teach good not through moral teachings, but on a personal example. If you have agreed on something, then keep your word. You can not prohibit what you agreed on yesterday, just because you are tired or out of sorts.
Let the teenager plan his own life, do not impose his profession, hobby, lifestyle. Be interested in your child, spend time with him, find a common hobby or entertainment. Let your son help you choose a technique, and let your daughter tell you about the youth fashion - teenagers like to "educate", it helps them feel more confident. Tell the children about your childhood and how you were teenagers. Learn to listen and hear, because what you think is a trifle, in the eyes of a teenager can be the most important thing not light. Try to communicate with a teenager not as a child, but as an adult who is equal to himself. These simple tips will help you maintain a normal relationship in the family and will avoid many troubles.