It seems that we ourselves were not so long ago teenagers and with incredible emotion experienced the first feelings. And now we are looking at our children and we can hardly imagine what is happening to them and ask ourselves how to behave, so as not to harm them on the one hand, but, on the other hand, to protect them from ill-considered actions.
First love in adolescents
It is difficult to imagine something purer and more sincere than the love between two teenagers, who previously did not feel anything like it. They discover a completely new world, and it seems to them that nothing can be better. They can abandon their studies and strive to get rid of the control of their parents, because they feel so grown-up and independent and forget about everything.
Usually the first love coincides with the period of puberty and develops amidst grandiose changes in the body and self-awareness of the adolescent, constant hormonal outbursts and mood swings. He experiences the most contradictory feelings and seeks to learn as much as possible new, including about the relationship between the sexes.
In general, teenage love, as age psychology affirms, can be exclusively platonic, but modern society literally pushes children toward closer, intimate relationships, the consequences of which can be extremely unpredictable.
Love between adolescents does not often grow into something more, but if the feelings are mutual, the relations develop in their own way and do not encounter serious obstacles in their path, they will play an important role in the formation of the individual. However, such happy stories - a rarity, much more often teenagers have to go through unrequited love and experience the first disappointment.
Unhappy love in adolescence
As you know, unfortunate is not only teenage unrequited love. Feelings can be mutual, but they face different obstacles, for example, with complete incomprehension on the part of the parents, who, in trying to protect the child from mistakes, strictly forbid meeting with the beloved.
Yes, good girls often draw to bad boys, and positive guys are not always interested in decent girls. Parents often cause shock and condemnation, but it is important to understand that hindering relations, you will most likely stumble upon a serious reaction of protest and will surely lose the child's confidence. The teenager will close in itself and will cease to share experiences, and so the chances that you will miss something really important will increase significantly.
Now let's imagine what the child feels if his feelings are unrequited. These adults with their life experience understand that this is not the end of the world and is still ahead, but for teenagers everything seems completely different.
Transitional age is often accompanied by non-acceptance of one's own appearance, since changes in it, according to the views of a teenager, only spoil it. He does not yet know that in the future there will be a significant transformation. Failures on the love front deal a crushing blow to self-esteem, recover after which is very difficult. A teenager is looking for problems in himself, experimenting with appearance and ready for desperate deeds, just to attract the attention of the object of love.
Conversation with a teenager about love
The question of whether it is worth discussing with a teenager his feelings and personal life events is quite controversial. The answer to it depends on the atmosphere in the family.
The main thing is not to alienate the teenager, if he decided to share something, in no way to criticize, not ridicule his lover, and not to say that all this is nonsense. Try to remember how you felt in this situation, tell the child about your first love. So you, most likely, reach mutual understanding.