There are a lot of kinds of manipulative influence, but their goal is to force a person to perform the necessary actions against his own interests. Sometimes the "victim" tries to resist, and sometimes voluntarily agrees with the deceiver, because he doubts the adequacy of what is happening. This phenomenon is called gaslaiting.
Gazlayting - what is this?
In the sixties of the twentieth century a concept that defines manipulation with the consciousness of other people regarding the reality of the world around them has become a turnover. It goes back to the title of the movie "Gas Light" (Gas Light) based on Patrick Hamilton's play "Street of the Angel" (1938). 30 years after the release of the picture, the American feminist Florence Rush published the book "The strictest secret: sexual abuse of children", which summarized the conclusions about the psychological manipulations described in George Cukor's film.
In essence, gaslaiting is a form of psychological violence in which one person tries to make his opponent insane. Manipulating his consciousness, he forces the interlocutor:
- to doubt in your memory;
- to think out what is not in reality;
- justified;
- to doubt the truthfulness of what is happening and one's own adequacy;
- to assume that he moved with the mind.
Types of manipulation - gaslighting
Manipulate the consciousness of another person and force him to take the desired point of view can be through behavioral and speech techniques. Ultimately, the interlocutor (who is also the victim, to whom the impact is directed) will think and act as the manipulator should. Their most tricky tactic is gaslight, because it distorts the sense of reality. Only one confidently said phrase of the opponent "There was no such!" Undermines the faith of the interlocutor in himself. Initiator of influence:
- resolutely rejects facts that are important to his opponent;
- points to imaginary incompetence - gender, age, physiological.
Gazaliting between spouses
To the methods of violence over the mind often resort narcissists, sociopaths, pathological liars. Such people convincingly lie to others, proving that their point of view is the only true one. Also, "forbidden receptions" can be used by couples, especially those who accept physical violence. After the quarrel with the assault, one side (gaslighter) will resolutely deny its wrongfulness. Even without knowing what gaslaiting is, the tyrants continue to use it successfully.
Domestic psychological violence is not uncommon in modern society. More often the victims of manipulation are the representatives of the weaker sex, although it is still not clear why men become Gazlayter. At first, the victim does not understand that strangeness occurs in the behavior of the interlocutor. But gradually begins to doubt its own adequacy and fully agrees with the words of the aggressor.
Gazailing for children
Psychological violence can occur in child-parent relationships, both from children and their adult relatives. Examples of household manipulation:
- If a mother or father constantly tells his child that he is not good enough and does everything "not as it should be."
- The child is imputed to something that he is unable to change by virtue of his age: he is small and can not decide for himself, give advice, contradict adults, etc.
- Mother and father justify violence in the family .
- If an adult child causes parents to doubt their own memory ("I told you (a), do not you remember?"), This is also an example of gas.
A typical gaslighter always creates a feeling of insecurity and inferiority in the victim, and suppresses her morally. The main task is to have complete power over the person and to shield your own wrong. Unlike adults, it is extremely difficult for a child to resist a manipulator, he does not even understand that he is being subjected to emotional violence and can not escape from the aggressor. The result is low self-esteem and a broken psyche.
Gazlayting at work
The professional sphere also falls into the risk zone of psychological violence. Workers of any areas regularly become victims of their bosses, who humiliate them and lead them to professional degradation. Unaware of what a gaslight is, a leader can yell at a subordinate, call anything unfit and threaten with dismissal. And the employee copes well with his duties. The chief manipulator uses the "carrot and stick" strategy, that is, the dual tactic:
- First he exposes the subordinate to a complete nonentity and a fool.
- Then he says that he "takes everything to heart."
Can a gaslighter love?
Gaziter is an ordinary person with his needs and weaknesses, although he is used to substituting concepts and manipulating others. People who have encountered such an opponent in real life can hardly cope with emerging conflicts. It is especially difficult in the family. The main question that excites the partner gazlaytera: can he love? To a greater extent, the manipulator loves himself, but nothing human is alien to him. Sometimes his actions are not aggression . Instead of attacks and rudeness, you can bombard the increased attention, but such love will not be sincere.
Gazlayting - how to resist?
Gazlayt are relations of a special kind that always arise between close people or those who are always nearby (colleagues, classmates, neighbors, etc.). To resist manipulation in your direction, you can try to do the following:
- If possible, completely stop the relationship with the aggressor or limit it to a minimum.
- Achieve self-confidence, own strength, adequacy.
- When attacking a bad memory, so that there are no doubts, write down all the important points in a notebook or on a dictaphone.
- Do not lead on tricks and provocations. If the conversation goes to an unnecessary channel, stop it.
Movies about gaslighting
If there was a suspicion that gaslaiting is being done towards a person, what to do to learn more about it? The methods of psychological violence and manipulation of the "substitution of reality" are covered by motion pictures of different genres. In addition to the classic tape "Gas Light" (1944), which gave the name gaslighting the name, these are such pictures as:
- "Rebecca" , 1940. Thriller Hitchcock about a woman who is slowly driving a new house crazy.
- "Street angel" , 1940. The first screen version of Hamilton's play.
- "Dogville" , 2003. One of the most famous movies about psychological aggression.
- "The Child of Rosemary" , 1968. The heroism of the thriller Polanski convinces everyone around in a "different reality".
- "Duplex" , 2003. A comedy about Granny, who is driving the crazy new tenants.