The feeling of disappointment always leaves behind the bitterness of emptiness - for that part of the consciousness where our ideas, hopes and dreams were kept, is suddenly replaced by a hole in which insults, feelings of helplessness and despair seep. Deep disappointment is often accompanied by depression, related to the fact that we do not feel like masters of our lives.
Let's think about what disappointment means in people: in a friend or friends, relatives, co-workers, etc. This means that someone did not live up to our expectations. Someone, as it turned out, does not have the topic qualities that we endowed them with. Think about what is the key in this definition. Correctly: "we hoped", "we thought", "we expected". And we were disappointed. Therefore, before you add to the pain of frustration resentment, remember that the person you are angry with does not have the qualities or intentions that you attributed to him. The biggest disappointment is, as a rule, our biggest misconceptions. In dreams, we climb too high, and it certainly hurts to fall.
Of course, realizing this, there is a great temptation to start blaming yourself: for being overconfident, dreamy and idealizing. But remember the words of Sarah Churchill: "If you are still capable of disappointing in people, then you are still young." Never blame yourself: we are all just pupils in this world, and we all have the right to make a mistake.
How to cope with frustration in people?
- Stop idealizing people and events. Most of the disappointments are rooted in this habit.
- Take responsibility for everything that happens to you. Every moment and turn of events is the result of your actions and way of thinking. Take it responsibly, and do not shift the blame on others, thereby depriving yourself of your unlimited power.
- Speak and listen. How much disappointment in people is due precisely to the fact that we do not know how to speak and, most importantly, to hear. Respect the thoughts and feelings of others, talk about what you expect from them, and listen carefully to their response. Do not replace their answers with those settings that were already in your head. Listen and you will not be disappointed.
- Leaving the right for others to be different from you. Realize that another way of thinking is not "wrong." Taking the possibility of existence of different points of view, and not dividing the world into black and white, you significantly expand the boundaries of your consciousness and color your life in a variety of colors.
- Do not dismiss your own feelings. If you feel frustrated, hurt and hurt, accept it. Do not be ashamed of negative emotions, they already exist, and at this stage of life this is normal. This is a lesson that needed to be passed, and which will allow you to become better in something. Instead of dwelling on negative emotions, think about what is best.
- Complete disappointment is fraught with deep depression. Distract yourself by setting new goals and opportunities. In this, again, the analysis of one's own thoughts will help. For example, realizing that
you are disappointed in a friend, do not project an emotion on the concept of friendship in general. Look for an excuse to prove it to yourself, communicate with other friends and be a real friend for others. - Trust people and life. If you want something, do not expect it from others, but trust them. Restricting yourself to trust, you make your life poorer.
- Replace self-pity for love. These two feelings are not at all identical, the first - deprives you of strength, and the second makes the mistress of your own life. If you sincerely love yourself, then automatically cease to put too much hope on others.