All parents of teenagers are afraid that their child can contact a bad company. But you can not isolate your child from the community, so in order to help troubled parents in this article, we will consider why this can happen and what should be done in such a situation.
Why do teenagers get into bad companies?
How to understand what motivates teenagers, even from a happy family, when they begin to violate public order, skip school, rude, do they develop bad habits? Psychologists advise parents to begin to realize that their children at this age are not children at all, but they are not adults either. Therefore, to become interested in a bad company, they can for the following reasons:
- search for credibility - at this age, communication with peers is a priority activity, and most often strong and authoritative are negative individuals;
- from a sense of contradiction, which is very strongly developed in adolescents, I want to do not like everyone else;
- wishing to become popular - after all the most famous personalities in school are the violators of order, that's why it attracts teenagers;
- out of curiosity - lack of information and freedom causes interest and a desire to find out what it is ( smoking , disco, fight);
- the search for one's place in society is a natural desire to be accepted into society, so many bad deeds are done simply "for the company", and teenagers who have not yet determined their goal in life try to find it by trial and error.
What if the child is friends with "bad guys"?
Be attentive
Employed by their working and domestic problems, parents are spending less time with their grown-up children and therefore often miss the moment when their child is just starting to get acquainted with a bad company. This can be determined if he: he listens to other music, forbids him to go into his room, avoids you, and when he meets he is rude and hides his eyes, becomes poorly at school or even skips. Especially it is necessary to be attentive when new people appear in the circle of teenage friends.
Intimate talk
Noticing changes in the behavior of the child, it is necessary to talk with him, but this conversation should be organized according to the following rules:
- to talk better in a relaxed atmosphere - in a cafe or on the nature;
- if you are in a quarrel, make up your mind and start talking after a few days, when the relationship improves;
- Do not read morality, do not blame it for anything;
- give an example from your own experience, ask his opinion on this situation.
Especially cautiously it is necessary to talk about new friends whom you consider not worthy, explain, what exactly in you does not arrange it. Remember that the first impression is deceptive, do not hang any labels on adolescents, try to learn more about these friends.
Work together with other parents
Familiarity with your child's family will help you not only learn more about his friends, but also with the example of another family, prove the rationality of your claims, but for this you need to agree with other parents about uniform requirements, for example: to walk until a certain time.
Become his friend
Start spending more time with your child, learn how to communicate , find an interesting joint venture, and:
- more often consult him;
- do not tell his secrets, even to relatives;
- Do not humiliate or insult him;
- less forbid and more often explain why it is bad and so it is impossible to do;
- Do not limit his freedom, show that you trust him;
- ask for forgiveness if you are to blame.
Change your behavior
To talk about the harm of something, you must first become an example for him: get rid of bad habits, do not swear, do homework. Instead of constant accusations, better protect him from attacking other people, and then conduct a conversation, why it happened.
Take time off
Find an alternative to aimlessly spending free time: write down on a sports section or a circle, buy a dog or a bicycle.
Come to the rescue in time
When the situation is very far away and the child is in danger of danger and his safety, it is necessary to interrupt dangerous connections very sharply and sometimes, even against his will.
If you let your child feel that you love him and are so proud of him, then with his problems and desires he will come to you, his parents, and not to a company of unhappy teenagers.