Who is a masochist is not difficult to understand, it is much harder to learn how to save a person from such a problem that is poisoning his existence. Such a person is not so keenly aware of pain, cold, fatigue, and the desire of others to help him, he turns against them.
What does a masochist mean?
A masochist is a person who is prone to suffering and humiliation. He gets some perverse pleasure from pain and humiliation. This is not physical pain, but psychological. People who have been subjected to violence by adults, whose needs and desires have been infringed since childhood, are vulnerable to masochism. As a result, in adulthood they cease to appreciate themselves and respect.
We can note the following features of the nature of the masochist:
- he does not pay attention to his condition;
- he is not able to eliminate discomfort on his own;
- he works to the last bit, exhausting himself;
- externally masochist quiet and calm;
- he walks with a suffering look.
In his offended air he tortures others, punishes them for their inattention and unwillingness to understand "without words." Resentment serves as his eternal companion, which is noticeable to everyone around him. Analyzing masochism in psychology, it is important to note that such people should not be turned away, they need to be taught to express their feelings, notice and understand their needs, desires.
What is the difference between sadism and masochism?
Sadism is a tendency to violence in order to enjoy the suffering of others. Initially, this feature was manifested exclusively in the sexual sphere of human life, but today it has become more widespread, affecting the most commonplace everyday situations. So, for example, violence can be psychological, while the sadist enjoys, causing trauma to the person.
Unlike sadism, masochism is aimed at causing violence to itself, but in the unconscious area such concepts are inseparable. The sadist not only receives satisfaction from the violence of the object, but also from what becomes this object. Similarly, the masochist, by his suffering, seeks to punish the tormentor, cause a sense of guilt. A sadist and a masochist can combine pleasure and suffering. The only thing that distinguishes them from each other:
- sadism is aimed at the object;
- masochism is directed at the subject.
It's like two sides of the same coin. Moreover, masochism is subsequently able to transform into sadism. Such people do not feel guilty and each act is justified. The more pronounced sadistic tendencies, the stronger a person will need periodic self-abasement - masochism. After violent aggression, the latent masochist will become submissive and quiet, begin to ask for forgiveness for his actions.
Types of masochism
Since masochism is aimed at obtaining pleasure from suffering, a masochist needs the presence of others so that this suffering is indicative, so he unconsciously strives to expose his humiliation as much as possible to others. Masochism in relations with other people is manifested by humiliation, guilt, and pain. The masochist tries to win approval with zeal, he strives for closeness with people.
Psychological masochism
As Freud's theory shows, psychological masochism is based on the disorder of the psyche . There are the following psychological causes of masochism:
- unmet needs;
- hyper-resistant care by parents, or her complete absence;
- inferiority complex;
- cruel punishment of children;
- fear of being abandoned.
In adulthood, masochists seek the kind of love they were deprived of as a child. But the paradox of this situation is that for them, love is how parents behaved towards them. Therefore, the masochist unconsciously provokes a rejection in close people. A psychological masochist seeks to evoke a sense of guilt, condemning his partner to a manifestation of sadistic inclinations.
Sexual masochism
Sexual masochists seek to enjoy through physical suffering. They like being beaten and bullied. The causes of sexual masochism were:
- severe illness with prolonged pain;
- sexual violence;
- chaotic relations with parents.
If a child was subjected to severe physical punishment from an early age, it unconsciously led to a certain degree of dependence on them. Subsequently, it is realized in sexual relations . At the same time, sex masochists - is not only causing physical pain, but also subordination to someone else's will, a feeling of helplessness under the brutal control of a partner.
Moral masochism
The basis of moral masochism is a sense of guilt, an unconscious need for punishment. The moral masochist is in a constant depressive mood, he provokes suffering from accidents, financial deprivation, bad relationships. The causes of the appearance of such a problem develop from childhood because of:
- traumatic weaning from the chest;
- punishment for masturbation;
- teaching to the toilet;
- early separation;
- exactingness, authority of parents.
Emotional masochism
The emotional masochist enjoys the negative emotional state , which is manifested in familiar behavior, self-justification, self-pity. Such a person does not seek to solve his problem, the process is important to him. And if someone tries to help him, as a result, he himself can get irritated and angry. Emotional masochism in women is manifested:
- in constant self-criticism;
- in the frequent abuse of alcohol and drugs;
- in constant disputes for no particular reason.
Mental masochism
In determining the place of man in culture, American psychoanalysts identified the main problem requiring careful attention - mental masochism. For example, in European culture, female masochism is more common. It is important to understand the social differences between the sexes. Masochism arose from sadism, and is its continuation.
This is not sexual masochism. This concept has been perverted only during the last century. For thousands of years before, there was a clear connection between the spirituality and masochism of many civilizations. The ancients considered masochism to be spiritual, emotional and physical value. He was an obligatory component of reality, a combination of the soul in a state of anguish, which was often manifested in monasteries and churches.
Why do people become masochists?
The causes of masochism are inextricably linked with psychology. Often such a concept is considered as a mirror image of sadism. Although no one can reveal the unified nature of the appearance of such a problem. The following causes of masochism can be noted:
- The genetic cause.
- Physiological cause.
- Fear of loneliness or assault.
To understand who a masochist is, you should look at the reasons for its occurrence. This is the result of a person's internal conflict . If such a perversion does not interfere with personal development, then it can be called the norm. But if a person feels unhappy, constantly offended and feels aggression towards himself, seeks to hurt himself, getting a lot of pleasure from it, it's important not to turn away from such a person, but to provide him with psychological help.
How to help a masochist?
A person suffering from masochism will never admit his problem, never ask who is a masochist. He will do everything himself, even what no one asked for. In other words, he will not leave the slightest chance to give him any help, but then he will actively express his resentment. Such a person is always unhappy with something, unhappy. All this inner anger destroys a person from within.
If you decide to help your friend, prepare for possible resistance and find out how to communicate with the masochist. Return to him the awareness of life, joy, inner balance can be, if you accept a respectful and humane attitude, will not succumb to his manipulations. You must learn to notice and interrupt all manipulations of the patient in time. You must support in the masochist the desire for a happy and happy life.
How to become a masochist?
To learn how to become masochists, you need to look at times when the person is just beginning to form. If a child's parents show him severe punishment, which often comes to sadism, in these conditions a person forms a protective mechanism. And gradually he begins to think that the manifestation of such a relationship of parents to him is nothing more than love. Over time, the child tries to find in such suffering and humiliation a positive meaning.
Parents, through cruel education, try to break and subordinate the will of the child, to grow it obedient, so often, if the child is ignored, he feels abandoned, and to be noticed, he begins to behave badly. Long stay in such conditions gives rise to a great powerless fury in man, for which there is no way out. Such a strange experience of deprivation and suffering gives rise to a firmly built-in self-flagellation mechanism.
How to get rid of masochism?
Masochism is considered a psychological dependence . Treatment of masochism requires individual or group psychotherapy. No medication can completely save a person from a problem, they can only calm down tension, calm down. If you feel the masochistic tendencies in yourself, which is manifested by frequent aggression, self-flagellation, discontent, the desire to cause yourself more harm, you will need the help of experienced psychologists.
To fully understand who a sadist and masochist is, you need to know not only what other people want, but also yourself. In the life of every person it is important not to hide their emotions, but to express them, express them. If you feel offended, you feel bad, cold and hurt, do not hesitate to say this. Learn to accept help from others and be aware of your own desires. This will greatly facilitate your life, make it full.