Parents of two or more children are perfectly familiar with such a phenomenon as the jealousy of the older child to the younger one, which goes back to the unwillingness of the children to share with their mother and father care, attention, and love. Characteristic for such cases, childish jealousy should always be under the control of the parents.
Positive aspects of childish jealousy
Often in families there is a situation when the older child is jealous of the younger, but the point is that this is absolutely normal. Before that, the kid was the only center of the universe around which parents, grandparents and parents were spinning. But there was a second child and, as a result, jealousy, because the Universes became two. What is good here? And the fact that the child already knows how to love! It's great if the aggression is open, because that's how parents know that childhood jealousy exists, and decide how to react to it.
Do not share love, but double it
This is perhaps the main rule for parents who want to get rid of jealousy between children. It is necessary to explain to the elder that his jealousy for the younger child is unreasonable, because he is loved no less. On the contrary, right now my mother needs his help, because without him she can not cope with her brother / sister. But the help should be voluntary, after all it at parents there was the second child, and the senior - not the nurse. If children have an age difference of more than five years, then in the future they will necessarily find a common language, but the relationship model will remain so - "babysitter - child".
Especially acute jealousy manifests in children of weather or twins. It's not about help. The main rule - all fifty-fifty. A feeling of lack of affection appears in the child not when he does not have candy, but when he does not have it, but his brother / sister has it. Do not impose on children roles: a quiet-hurricane, a clever hooligan, a laborer-lazy. This will remove them from each other. The best remedy for jealousy is love. Pay attention to each kid.
To my mom for a note
Remember some important rules:
- do not compare children;
- Do not punish one child in the presence of another;
- "You're the elder!" Is not an argument;
- in any case, do not give the elder child to her grandmother "while the youngest grows up."
Your unlimited love and attention will surely help the children successfully resist life's failures, fight difficulties, and, most importantly, they will be best friends!