In the life of each of us, there are times when it is incredibly difficult and sometimes not even impossible to deny the interlocutor a request. Moreover, for some people, the very fact of uttering the word "no" is terrifying. After all, this is a hard refusal, he can offend the interlocutor, right? But for some reason this helpfulness does not always have a positive effect on us. How to learn to say no? - that's what you really should think about.
So why is it so bad not to be able to refuse?
- First of all, from the lack of this skill you become insincere. You nod at everything, even that which causes disgust, and in due course cease to distinguish your own desires from the desires of other people.
- "I want to learn to say" no ", but I'm afraid" - if you know this desire, it is important to remember that gradually it will lead to people getting used to your trouble-freeness. Do not have time to look back, and you have already learned to use, knowing that you are always ready to forget about your own interests for the sake of others. You get used to this quickly.
- Well, in general, thinking about past "trouble-free" days, do you remember them with a smile and a pleasant feeling of help provided? Most likely, you couple, or even three times, forcibly drive the ill-fated "what if ..." from your head, full of doubt, and what would have happened if you did what you wanted specifically.
How to learn to refuse, without offending?
The main reasons for the impossibility of refusal - the fear of offending, fear of sad eyes and fear that people turn away and never ask for help, if you for a moment remember about yourself.
The first thing to do is to abandon such judgments. Think: would you refuse to communicate with a good person, only because he could not help you? After all, you perfectly understand that situations are different. So why can not the interlocutor understand this?
How to learn to deny people without spoiling relations with them?
The answer is simple - believe in yourself. You do not just refuse it, do you? You have a reason, be it an important matter or even a simple reluctance. In any case, this is something significant enough, since you are firmly sure that you do not want or can not do what you were asked to do. So remind yourself of this, remember yourself. This life you live, but not an interlocutor.
After that, you can safely and with a clear conscience. If you can not just say no, without explaining the reasons - explain them. But just do not get involved in the discussion, or you can inadvertently get caught in the bait and change your mind again. Firmly insist on your own!
Does not work? Change the subject - suggest another solution to the problem, where your participation will be completely unnecessary. Consider together the other options. How to know, maybe you will find better.
How to learn to tell the truth?
Life is given only once, and it is short. Time flies inexorably. Think whether it makes sense to spend it on something to neglect your opinion, interests for the sake of communicating with certain people? Be free. Learn to tell the truth, but, let's say, wrapping it in a beautiful wrapper. Although sometimes bitter, though, more effective than a sweet lie .
And remember: to say "no" at once is not at all what to say afterwards, after you have already given hope, and then mercilessly select it. Remember yourself as a child: they lived quietly without candy, but once you were given it, and then taken back, it's hard to think about anything else, is it?