Conflict between fathers and children

Conflicts are an integral part of the life of any person. The problem of the most painless resolution of situations is not new, there is even a special science dealing with problems of conflict resolution - conflictology. And the problem of conflicts between fathers and children seems to be as old as the world. Thousands of years ago the older generation complained of carelessness, lack of education, lack of discipline, cynicism and superficiality of the youth. Thus, the inscription on the ancient Babylonian clay vessel of the 30th century BC reads: "The youth is corrupted to the depths of the soul. Young people are malicious and negligent. The young generation of today will not be able to preserve our culture. " A similar inscription is found on the tomb of one of the Egyptian pharaohs. It says that disobedient and ill-bred youth can not prolong the great deeds of their ancestors, create great monuments of culture and arts and, without a doubt, become the last generation of people on earth.

Since then, little has changed. From the height of their experience, adults look at "children's antics", forgetting about the time when they themselves were children and teenagers, as they tried to live and considered themselves capable of turning mountains. And to each generation it seems that "they were different, they did not allow themselves such a thing" and if the young generation continues to behave in the same disgusting manner, the world will slide into the abyss and perish. And the young people frown in displeasure, think of their parents as "stragglers" and thinks (but, fortunately, seldom says): "how can you even have the right to teach me?" And family quarrels and arguments are repeated again and again, with each new generation of people. But how often do we parents think about whether we are solving the disputable situations and conflicts with our own children correctly? After all, the influence of family conflicts on the child is unquestionable - a person who is accustomed to submit to the power of the parents will be afraid to argue and insist on their own, and spoiled by permissiveness grow up as staid egoists indifferent to the needs of others. Meanwhile, ways of resolving conflicts with children do not differ much from the general principles of solving difficult situations. It's time to figure out how to resolve conflicts correctly.

Eternal conflict of generations: fathers and children

No family can do without conflicts between children and parents. And there is nothing terrible in this, because "right" conflicts help relieve tension between its participants, make it possible to find a compromise solution without infringing upon the interests of one of the members of the family, and in the end, only strengthen the relationship. But all this is true only with respect to reasonably resolved conflicts. Much more often, arguments and quarrels become the cause of hidden grievances, psychological complexes, and even can cause a split in the family.

How to properly resolve conflicts between children and parents?

To make the conflict painless, follow these tips:

1. Do not look for the guilty among others. The temptation to blame another person is very difficult to resist, but try to restrain yourself and look at the situation with someone else's eyes.
2. Do not "crush" the child with your authority. The fact that you are older does not mean that everyone should surrender their interests to please you. Children are the same person as adults, and they also need respect.
3. Be interested in the life and opinion of the child, cherish his trust. The most important thing in a family is a normal, friendly and trusting relationship. In this case, even if the child has made a mistake, he can come and share his problems with the parents, and not hide them out of fear or shame. And only in this case, parents get a chance to help the child in time, and sometimes even save him. Of course, it is necessary to build trust relationships in advance, and not when an open confrontation has already begun and every child takes your phrase "with bayonets".
4. Do not blackmail ("If you do not do as I say, you will not get pocket money."
5. Try to behave calmly or to postpone the resolution of the conflict at a time when both you and the child will calm down, "cool down".
6. Try to find a compromise solution. The situation when one satisfies his interests and needs at the expense of another is wrong. To choose the most appropriate method for solving the conflict, ask the child what way out of the situation he sees. After listing all the options, select one or offer your child a version of the solution Problems.

Conflicts of parents and adult children can be even more intense than with young children or teenagers. After all, in this case, children are already fully formed personalities with their own principles and beliefs. But even in this case, all the above methods remain correct and effective.

And most importantly - remember that the younger generation is not better or worse - it's just different. And if not for these differences, if there were no disputes and conflicts between children and parents, there would be no progress and people would still hunt wild animals living in a cave.