Bonding is a complex multi-component concept that characterizes the invisible link between mother and child, which stands above words, intellect and even emotions. Bonding is the understanding of your child, the definition of his desires, needs and discontent through inconspicuous and incomprehensible signals, gestures, sounds.
Bonding - intuitive understanding
A vivid example of bonding was described in the observation of young mothers in Guatemala. They have born babies at birth from their breasts, fixing them with rags of cloth, something like slings. At the same time, they do not use diapers or diapers, and at the same time remain always dry and clean. And when a child needs to go to the toilet, they simply plant him under the nearest bush. On the question of how they determine the right moment, they are perplexed - and how do people generally determine what they need in the toilet? That is, they feel the needs of children on an intuitive level even before the toddler learns to express them clearly.
As for the direct benefit to the child, bonding helps to form positive personal qualities in the child. So, a child who grew up in love loves the world around him. If mother listened attentively to his feelings and needs, he in adult life is also prone to empathy and sensitive to the needs and desires of others. In short, bonding contributes to the formation of a healthy, full-fledged personality.
Bonding is a phenomenon acquired, but it can not be learned purposefully. It is formed gradually from the very moment when the woman felt changes in her body and saw two strips on the test.
Stages of establishing bonding
1. Pregnancy is the sacrament of bearing new life, to which the woman is carefully prepared by nature. She has new feelings, preferences and priorities. She is no longer able to work fully and she constantly needs rest. Roughly speaking, with the onset of pregnancy, a woman is no longer a full-fledged member of society, she becomes a mother and her main task at this stage is to immerse herself in the process of gestation, to feel a connection with her unborn child. Unfortunately, modern conditions for many oblige women, and they often do not have the opportunity to completely withdraw into themselves and their pregnancy, because the beginning of the establishment of bonding can be violated.
2. Birth is a test not only for the mother, but also for the baby. It is important that in the process the mother is calm, positive and not nervous, otherwise the negative emotions will be passed on to the child. Important and the first minutes of the baby's life, it is at this point that it is important that the mother, after holding the baby to her after the stress of birth, partially recreates for him the former comfortable conditions of existence. It is at this stage, when there is a powerful release of hormones into the blood, the mother is in an altered state of consciousness, close to the trance. It directly contributes to the establishment of bonding - now the mother is able to understand and feel her newborn.
In the modern civilized world, it is rare when labor is dispensed with without medical, medicinal intervention,
3. The period of the newborn . It is very important at this stage the child is next to the mother. In order for the bondage to be established and strengthened permanently, continuous contact and communication between the mother and the child is required. Modern maternity hospitals, as far as possible, try to approach the necessary conditions by organizing chambers of joint residence of mother and child. Further strengthening of communication is facilitated by joint sleep , slinging and in general constant contact of the baby with his mother.