The paradox of human nature is that we all want freedom, and often voluntarily abandon it, denying our responsibility for what is happening in our lives. This phenomenon is called the psychology of the victim.
Denial of responsibility and the psychology of the victim's behavior, as a rule, occurs in two varieties:
- a sense of despair and the fact that a person is a victim of certain circumstances;
- exaggerated claims to others, because, according to the victim, it is the others who must make her happy and successful.
Of course, most often we try on the role of the victim in order to make it more comfortable for us to live. For example, we hide behind bad weather, when we do not want to go to training, refuse to wash dishes, because it torments eczema, etc. However, it often happens that we ourselves attract problems, creating excuses for certain unwillingness. How?
Have you ever wondered why a thousand people are walking along the street, and someone is choosing a bag from someone. How does an accident choose people? Or are we ourselves provoking an accident?
The role of the victim of crime deserved in psychology a separate section - "victimology" (from the English word "victim" - "victim.") This science helps to identify the predisposition of a person to become a victim of a crime, for there is always a connection between the victim and the criminal, even on an unconscious level.
For example, a woman who does not have enough attention to her husband is raped. After this, the husband meets and accompanies her, takes care of her. The failure at work, the delay in wages and even theft of the wallet, as the final note in a long series of financial failures. Examples of mass. And in each of them, rummaging around, you can find a causal relationship.
How to deal with the psychology of the victim?
If you often fail, the cafés get the worst tables, and sellers weigh the bad goods, it's time to think about how to get rid of the psychology of the victim, until she transferred bad luck to other scales. Anyway, you need to start with small things.
To begin with, try to realize, feel that you always have the right to choose. That it's not that you are a failure, but that before (for some reason), you did not allow yourself to make choices. Next time, when the seller will weigh you a kilogram of rot instead of mouth-watering fruits, like on the counter, demand to replace the goods. In case of refusal, leave. Your choice is to take the best. Exactly
Another tip, which should not be neglected - keep your back straight. Posture is very important, because it is a signal to other people about your degree of self-confidence. You do not want to make an image of a failure.
If the psychology of the victim has led you to serious problems, it is better to seek professional help to help you understand the roots of such a social role. This is your choice and the first step towards the psychology of a free person.