If you are reading this article, then perhaps you, as parents, are familiar with the feeling when your grown-up child at 11-12 years suddenly ceases to be understandable and manageable. You no longer know what your words or actions will suit him, and which ones will offend you, and you yourself often take offense. It seems that it is understandable that this is the process of starting growing up so painfully, the phrase "transitional age" is known to everyone. That's just what is really happening at this time in the head and soul of a beloved child, and how to behave to parents is an open question.
The psychology of children and the psychology of adolescents are fundamentally different from each other. The child does not yet experience such rapid physical changes that "fall" on a teenager.
Psychology of the modern teenager
The peculiarities of the psychology of adolescents, first of all, are dictated by these physical changes, or, more simply, by sexual maturation. And the age psychology of girls and adolescent boys is not much different, except that in girls all the processes occur a little earlier. Physically, boys and girls begin to differ more and more, but psychological problems are common and do not depend on gender. From where the pimple on the nose comes from, the changes in body shapes that overpower the thoughts of the opposite field are far from all the "misfortunes" that a carefree child has to face yesterday. The psychic can hardly cope with all these new phenomena, and there is an age-related psychological crisis. Its signs are as follows:
- uncertainty in themselves, their appearance, a strong concern about the opinions of others;
- "Youthful maximalism" - categorical in judgments, arrogance;
- differences in behavior and polarity of the psyche: a combination of attentiveness and indifference, shyness and arrogance, sociability and isolation, dreaminess and cynicism, etc .;
- the desire to get the maximum information on the topic of interest with a rapid change of objects of interest, unsystematic.
Usually in adolescence, children often conflict with their parents in an effort to defend their adulthood and independence. But the actual absence of the adolescent's social independence still often forces parents to severely restrict the child's attempts to achieve "equality" with adults. However, rigidity, criticism and care are the means that need to be very intelligently dosed when dealing with a teenager. Otherwise, you may need to find out how it is to be the parent of a difficult teenager.
Psychology of difficult adolescents
As a rule, difficult teenagers consider those who have negative personal qualities in their behavior: aggressiveness, cruelty, deceit, rudeness, etc. Statistics show that "difficult" are teenagers who grew up in families of alcoholics, parents with severe psychological problems, living in a heavy psychological atmosphere. However, no seemingly decent family is immune from the fact that the child will become a difficult teenager - this can happen if the parents, for example, are very distanced from the child or, conversely, control each step. We can say that any extremes in the behavior of parents lead to the fact that the teenager is particularly painfully experiencing his age crisis and
The psychology of the development and upbringing of adolescents is a whole science, and parents should take this seriously. Whatever your growing up child is - easy or "difficult", remember that he is going through a difficult period of his life, try to understand him, and do not neglect the advice of professionals - teachers and psychologists. Good luck and agreement in the family!