Most likely, you did not choose such a man. At first he just drank. And in principle, he could like you: cheerful, witty, knows how to behave in the hands. You thought you would see him like this on holidays: the soul of the company, although not quite sober. However, after the wedding, he did not stop denying himself alcohol. And he was still so cheerful, until he did not understand - you do not like him that much anymore. And even more - he feels that you are ready to make him choose: either I, or alcohol ...
How does the situation develop further?
If you love your husband, then, most likely, you are trying to help him. You stick pamphlets about the dangers of alcohol and even business cards of doctors who promise to cope with the problem. However, it seems to you that the husband ignores the hints, and desperately refuses to acknowledge the problem. He is irritated, and tries to drink secretly from you. You can start thinking about how to divorce from an alcoholic husband, because living with him becomes unbearable. Maybe your husband becomes jealous, and can insult you. If you survive this stage, then, most likely, the next will come: he will ask you to forgive in the morning and promise not to drink. Perhaps the picture seems too gloomy. And desperate.
Of course, the easiest way to get away from an alcoholic husband, but let's think about how to get rid of it in another way. Solve the problem of how to help the alcoholic husband - the theme of our today's article.
Recognition of responsibility
Let's think about why your husband drinks. Yes, it's possible that genes might work, or friends are ... We often look for reasons in the outside world, but in this article we suggest you choose a different approach. Look for the reason ... in yourself. Of course, you did not want your husband to drink. And, probably, tried to be the best wife in the world. And, of course, you are not to blame. However, this does not mean that you could not attract an alcoholic.
If a man refuses to find the problem himself and accept responsibility, do not think about what to do and how to deal with the alcoholic husband. The struggle forces you to lose strength and forget yourself in a new portion of booze. Take responsibility for yourself: not for the husband's addiction to alcohol, but for his (husband's) presence in your life.
Responsibility is not equal to guilt
Recognizing responsibility does not mean that you should blame yourself for what happened. Husband alcoholic most often - this is evidence that the woman does not love herself. Does not like in the global sense of the word, does not accept. Causes subconscious aggression.
Look at the husband with different eyes
If you are determined to keep a family, but do not know how to live with a husband alcoholic, try to imagine his illness differently. His soul is sick, and alcohol helps him. Not every remedy is good. However, put before you another wording: you treat a sick soul, and not alcoholism. Alcoholism is only a consequence. Think about what emotional state your husband wants to get when he drinks?
Perhaps in this case he becomes the soul of the company? Does not he have enough attention? Courage? Having drunk, does he become affectionate? Think about whether you can give him the emotional state he is looking for, without alcohol. If necessary, involve a family psychologist specializing in such cases.
How to cure a husband alcoholic? To give love. Not forgiving and all accepting, but love of self. If you love yourself enough and accept yourself, then this man does not belong in your life. Thus, either the prefix "alcoholic" or the "husband alcoholic" as a whole should disappear.
How to get rid of her husband's alcoholic?
Pity is one of the most frequent reasons why a woman tolerates a man who has long since been left without her love. Most likely, the man will press on this point, tearfully promising that the situation will not happen again. However, if previous conversations (with an attempt to find out the root cause) lead to nothing, and you yourself are ready to break off relations, then a firm decision is needed. Leave correctly:
- another conversation can make your heart flinch, so it's better to collect your things and leave the house. Do not torment yourself with thoughts like he is there, without you. Everyone is responsible for his own life;
- try to warn mutual friends in advance so that they do not tell you about his failures and pleas to return. Leave bad thoughts with your husband;
- grant a divorce to lawyers. Try to reduce communication with your husband to a minimum;
- worry about your safety: move to friends, do not stay alone. Especially - if in a state of intoxication the husband was inclined to violence;
- take your head in other thoughts. Apply for a foreign language course, dancing or yoga. The latter will allow you to relax and let go of the situation;
- take care of children. Children have a hard time in the family of alcoholics, and, perhaps, you spent too much energy on the struggle, and not on the upbringing of offspring. Do not ignore the problem, talk with the children, but avoid accusations. It is best to seek the help of a specialist.