The question of whether parents should sleep with the child or whether it is better to initially teach the baby to sleep separately is still the cause of many disputes. Pediatricians, psychologists and parents are divided into two camps: some argue that a joint sleep helps the child to be calmer, more confident and develop faster, while others categorically disagree, arguing that immediately to accustom a child to sleep in a crib is easier than "migrating" it , when the baby grows up.
Let's consider the main arguments of both sides.
Behind:
- a joint sleep with parents calms the child, allows him to feel protected. He also benefits young mothers, allowing them not to run seven times a night to the baby's crib;
- falling asleep with her mother, the child feels her breathing, palpitation and a smell. This is very important for newborns, who until recently had been one with the mother. In favor of a joint sleep says and its naturalness - all mammals sleep only with their babies. Nobody will argue with the fact that maternal warmth and care, constant closeness with it are especially important for weakened and premature babies, and is also an excellent means for stimulating lactation.
Against:
- one of the most weighty arguments against is the possibility of an accident. Certainly, tragedies of this kind are very rare, but it is impossible to exclude such a possibility. The danger rises if one of the parents takes sleeping pills or is very tired - in such cases, sleep becomes much deeper, and the risk of accidentally pushing the child off the bed or "sleeping" it becomes quite high. It is not necessary to sleep with the child and those who sleep restlessly, often toggles or can sharply move their hands or feet - it is very easy to injure an infant in a dream.
- joint sleep with children can worsen relations with her husband. This is especially true of families where, with the appearance of the baby, the pope begins to sleep separately, leaving the matrimonial bed to his mother and baby. This makes him feel "third superfluous" and can soon turn into serious psychological problems. If the father remains to sleep with his wife and child, most likely, to relax and fully fall asleep, he will not succeed. Love for the child develops gradually in men, and at first it will be jealous of the spouse to the child (often without even realizing it). In addition, joint sleep is almost always a complete rejection of sex with the husband. It is very difficult to maintain the usual rhythm of sexual life, if a child sleeps with his parents all night.
- very often in children who are accustomed to sleeping with their parents, there is a persistent dependence on them, children begin to manipulate both mom and dad, seeking their constant attention and presence.
How to teach a child to sleep in a crib?
Consider the basic principles of how to wean a child from sleeping together. If you come to the conclusion that the child is old enough to sleep separately, do not back down and be consistent. Prepare for the fact that it will not be easy: some children wean for two or three days, and some arrange violent hysterics, harassing themselves and their parents. If it seems to you that all the known ways how to teach a child to bed have already been exhausted and you are about to give up and let the crumb continue to sleep with you, consider that by such behavior you let the kid understand that hysterics and screams help to achieve the desired. Do not doubt, in the future the child will more often be capricious and hysterical, manipulating your inability to be consistent and persevering.
Remember: the decision is made, and you should bring it to the end. But do not be too hasty, do everything gradually so that the child is not scared and has time to get used to the changes. Begin to put a toy between yourself and your child. At first place a crib next to yours so you can see how the child sleeps, and the baby, waking up at night, could see you. Gradually push the baby cot away from your. Laying crumbs to sleep, talk to him in a quiet, quiet voice, do not shout that he does not take sleep alone as punishment.
When the child gets used to sleeping separately, move the crib into the nursery. Do not change the rituals before going to sleep - let the toy with which the baby sleeps will still be next to it at night. Laying the baby, talk to him, hold it by the handle, tell the tales, - do everything the same as before. It is advisable to purchase a night lamp, so that waking up in the dark in the nursery, the crumb did not get scared. Do not frighten the child with stories about baboons and other nocturnal monsters - this will only help temporarily, and only later
Older children (4-5 years) find it difficult to explain why they can not sleep with their parents, and younger brother or sister can. In this case, try to apply a distracting maneuver - buy in the children's beautiful furniture - in the form of a typewriter, an airplane (for a boy) or a fairy-tale castle (for a girl). It is best if the baby himself chooses a cot for himself. Imagine the possibility of a separate dream as a privilege that is accessible only to adults, let the child feel pride in their own independence.
As soon as the kid understands that the parents do not intend to back away from their decision, he will reconcile, and will calmly fall asleep separately.