A well-bred person lives in harmony with himself and others. It is impossible to become educated at the same time, or only in some cases, good manners - this is not a suit or dress that is stored in the closet before the solemn event. Parenting is or is, or it is not.
What are good manners?
A person is judged not by clothes, but by manners, by how he behaves in society, how he treats others, how he talks and gesticulates. If to generalize, then good manners are the presence or, on the contrary, the lack of respect for people. The old saying "Treat people as you want them to treat you" will probably never become obsolete. One can not read treatises on the ability to behave in society, but simply act in accordance with this proverb, and you will be a very pleasant and educated person with refined manners.
Why good manners?
To have good manners is also very useful. We have to communicate everyday with a lot of people - at work, in transport, with friends, and on how friendly this communication is, its result depends. Without observing even the elementary rules of decency it is difficult to adapt in a new society. You can see that successful and confident people are almost always well-mannered. About people who have achieved the goal, earned recognition, and, at the same time, calm and reserved, they often say: "He has aristocratic manners, it is pleasant to communicate with him."
Good manners in modern society
Very often you can hear - in modern society not to the manners. However, a person who loudly swears, dirty clothes or yawns at all times, except rejection, does not cause anything. Another thing is that some manners have changed, but not lost. Modern manners are based on respect for another person, but convenience and practicality are at the forefront. For example
- To let the woman go forward, open the door in front of her. Now the door is opened by someone who is more comfortable, regardless of whether you are a man or a woman. If the girl is a man with a child, of course, she will open the door for him.
- Men must give way to women. Just like in the first case - it's worth it to someone who is easier, and a woman can quite give way to a man with a disability.
Rules of good manners
What should I do and how to behave in order not to be known as ignoramus? The basic rules of etiquette and good manners are simple: to be restrained, benevolent, to control oneself, and to behave naturally.
- Do not hide from everyone that you see or try something for the first time. It will be better if you are taught to do this than publicly embarrassed.
- It is very important to look good, and it's not about clothes. It is unacceptable to sit with your legs spread wide apart, or by placing your ankle on one leg on the other's knee, loudly shouting and gesticulating widely.
- Do not chew gum while talking and do not look at the watch or mobile phone.
- Do not come without warning to visit, if you find people in their pajamas in an uncleared room, you will feel uncomfortable.
- Be sure to knock on the room, before you enter and it does not matter - it's the office of the chief or child's child.
- Naturally, you can not read other people's letters, and in modern conditions, SMS, electronic messages.
- You do not need to talk with your mouth full and, especially, wipe your mouth with your hands - use a napkin.
- Good manners for a girl - never put the bag on your knees or on the table. A small clutch is allowed, but a fashionable volumetric bag-tote - only on the floor or can be hung on the back of a chair.
How to deal with manners?
The main sign of the mauvais is to point out to other people their bad manners. It is better to look at yourself more attentively, for sure you can find a couple of bad manners.
- If you are irritable, break out over trifles and can be rude, try to control yourself. Practice at home deeper to breathe, count during an attack of irritation, use what works best, and gradually it will become a habit.
- Bad manners can be caused by ignorance, especially if you are in another country. Ask, but better know in advance how to behave, what customs in this area.
- If you are inattentive to people, or simply do not notice the need for help - ask, thereby you will become an attentive person and gradually get used to caring for others.
- Write down all your bad habits, manners, ask the one to whom you trust, what irritates you, analyze what situations provoke them. At first you can ask a loved one to gently turn your attention to the manifestation of bad manners, later you will see them yourself and be able to keep under control.
How to learn good manners?
Can I learn good manners? How to learn a good manners for a woman so that the situation does not arise: she seemed beautiful and spiritual until she spoke? The rules of behavior are brought up in childhood, but this does not mean that the adult person does not master them.
- First of all, learn calmness. A calm reaction to stimuli promotes the development of self-control, and self-control will not allow you to flare up and commit an act that you can later regret.
- Cultivate a positive perception of the world around you. The educated person is not the one who will restrain from the answer if he is pushed, but the one who will not be offended at all.
- Try not to provoke situations in which there may be a sense of embarrassment, and if this situation does not arise through your own fault, make a distraction maneuver.
- Remember what irritates you in other people and try not to repeat it.
- Be polite in all situations, politeness is the basis of good manners, do not allow rude expressions, disregard for people.
- Carefully observe those who think you are a well-bred person and try to repeat their actions in different situations.
- Watch your speech - do not allow jargon expressions or special terms, let alone vulgar vulgarisms. The secret of correct speech is simple - read! Especially Russian classical literature, the more you read, the faster your speech will improve, and enough about good manners in books.
Movies about good manners
There are films on which you can learn the correct manners of behavior:
- "How to become a princess" - whether it is possible to change manners and remain yourself.
- "Pride and Prejudice" - how to successfully marry without a dowry, but with impeccable manners.
- "Kate and Leo" - the elegance and deliberation of the XIX century and the mad New York XX.
- "Miss Congeniality" - a female police officer and good parenting are incompatible?
- "The devil wears Prada" - what lies behind the good manners of a successful lady?
- "My Fair Lady" - how to turn into a socialite from an ugly duckling.