All parents in the soul understand that screaming at children is impossible. However, not everyone thinks about why it is impossible, and do not pay attention to what it can turn out later. Moreover, many mothers and fathers shout at the child, because they can not curb their anger, often just. After all, children are so often mischievous, and each of us can fall. Let us together think about how to build an educational process in such a way that increasing the voice per child is not the main method of solving problems.
Why can not you scream at the child?
From screaming at children should be abstained for several reasons.
First , this method manifests itself as absolutely useless. Screaming and even yelling at the child - as a rule, does not mean that he will hear and understand you. Much more effective will be quietly said phrase, especially if you at this time will be on par with the child in height. Sit down and take the baby by the hand, suggest that we discuss the problem together and you will be pleasantly surprised at how simple it will be. This applies to young children - the older ones need their own approach, and finding it is the task of the parents. If the baby is used to the childhood that his mother screams at him, then, growing up, he will simply ignore your words and requests.
Secondly , the cry for any child is the pressure on his psyche, still very unstable. The child most often does not understand why you shout at him. After all, he does not know that my mother was tired, did not get enough sleep or quarreled with a friend. Agree that this is not an excuse to take out the evil on an innocent child. After all, this way you scream your very own and beloved man into a state of shock, a natural defensive reaction to which can become even greater whims, or even a pure negative towards you. Especially dangerous if in your monologues on elevated tones there are words leading to an underestimation of the child's self-esteem (bad, naughty, spoiled, etc.)
Thirdly , we teach children not by words, but by their own example. It is the actions of parents that children take as the basis of their behavior, because mom and dad for the baby is a real authority, and if they cry, it means that this is the only way to do it. Realizing this, the child himself learns to communicate by raising his voice. So do not be surprised by the frequent and loud hysterics on his part. Moreover: he will bring up his future children in the same way, if you do not change your own behavior on time.
How to stop screaming at your child?
Analyze situations where you most often shout at your children. At what times does it happen? Perhaps it is not the children themselves who are to blame for their misdeeds or whims. Most likely, the reason lies in yourself - and then solve the problem of screaming by other methods:
- try to avoid conflict situations;
- smooth out any conflicts at the initial stage, and then you will not be tempted to shout at the child;
- capricious child is easier to distract by switching it
attention to another interesting object than to try to cry to make him obey; - work on your psychological state. Try to get enough sleep, pay attention to caring for yourself, spend some time alone or in the company of girlfriends - and you will notice that you will become more tolerant towards children.
Now you can answer the question yourself whether you can scream at children. Try to make maximum efforts for this, because only a calm mother, children will be obedient and happy!