In modern society, there is a negative trend, when teenagers are remembered only when it comes to offenses, crime and drug addiction. Typically, the media and educators prefer to talk about problems in dealing with adolescents, often ignoring such an important detail as the formation of the adolescent's personality and the help that he needs in this period. In order to dispel this tendency, it is necessary to know what problems adolescents face and to look for ways to solve them.
Problems of modern teenagers
In the life of each child there comes a period when he first asks himself the question: "Who am I? What do I want from life? Whom I want to become?". The questions grow in geometric progression, and in life there comes a time of searching for answers. For a short period of time - from 11 to 16 years old the child makes a huge step in development and becomes a teenager. At this time cardinally changes not only the mentality of the adolescent, but also his hormonal and physical condition. A teenager becomes vulnerable and without adequate support is not able to cope with the formation of his personality on his own. The period of internal conflicts with oneself begins, the satellites of which are frequent changes of mood, the search for new friends and hobbies, and the appearance of aggression. During this period, the problems of teenagers with parents begin. The reason for this is such internal contradictions of the child:
- a teenager considers himself to be an adult, although he still remains a child by his real strengths. The main contradiction here lies in the formula: "I'm an adult, so I do not trust other adults";
- the child defends his right to the role of a unique and unique personality, and immediately strives to "be like everyone else";
- The teenager aspires to belong to this or that social group and to be its full member. However, teenage groups - the most closed and beginners there almost do not get. Hence the loneliness of the adolescent begins to develop and difficulties in communicating with peers and social surroundings.
From these contradictions, all the main problems of adolescents grow: family, sexual, and behavioral problems. To understand how to help your child cope with them, consider the most common problems.
Actual problems of adolescents
Most parents often do not even guess what are the problems for teenagers, because their children prefer to keep silent about their difficulties and do not trust the hidden thoughts even to close people. Hence the problems of adolescents in the family begin. The difficulty in communicating is often aggravated by the fact that parents do not understand that the child has grown and communication with him should not be at the level when he was young. Most problems arise precisely because of the age range. Parents forget that they were once the same teenagers, and the problems of their growing up children do not seem serious to them. Children respond in a defiant way, they stop respecting their parents, believing that they are behind the times and their tastes are old fashioned. As a result, respect and mutual understanding are lost. Another headache of parents are the problems of adolescent behavior. Most often, yesterday's children choose the behavior that is necessary in the necessary circumstances. They either sit on the neck of their parents, or take in the bayonets every word of adults. Often on the part of such behavior looks like a sign of protest and a challenge to society. For such "antics" a teenager usually has one of four goals:
1. Attempt to avoid failure, i.e. the thought "I can not." There may be two reasons:
- waiting for the child to assess their actions (trying to avoid those cases in which he will look like a failure or receive a low estimate for them);
- suggestion of parents "we love only those children who study well (then the child does only those tasks with which he will be able to cope exactly).
2. Attempt to take revenge. This is the most complex kind of behavior. Revenge of a teenager does not necessarily have the form of a strong resentment, but the desire to take revenge is almost always a response to the pain caused once. In this case, the child can respond as in a minute after the trauma is caused, and many years after it. There is revenge in the form of mental and physical attacks: the child in every way harms parents or other offenders, ignoring any of their attempts at reconciliation.
3. Demonstration of one's power. It manifests itself either in the verbal indignation of a child who turns into a conflict, or in quiet disobedience. The child promises to do what he was asked, and he continues to do his own business. This behavior can bring parents to fits of rage, and the child pours oil on the fire with phrases: "You can not do anything to me," or runs away from home. The main reason here is the desire of a teenager to equalize his rights with adults.
4. Attracting attention to yourself. Often manifested in the child's attempt to distract parents from their affairs, and provocation to abuse and punishment. The reason lies in the fact that a teenager understands perfectly well that more attention is paid to "bad" children, and for the sake of this attention he is put into all serious.
Sexual problems of adolescents
On a separate step there are sexual problems of adolescents. The adolescent period is a time of not only psychological, but also hormonal maturation. Adolescents perceive sex as a kind of experiment, often out of curiosity. Young people mature for relationships much earlier than girls, for whom the main expression of sexual interest for a long time is coquetry and shyness. However, representatives of both sexes are equally interested in relationships, including sexual ones. And here the main task of parents is to feel the fine line between the child's desire to love and curiosity caused by sexual attraction.
Problems in the life of a teenager are inevitable. And only in your power, dear parents, to facilitate the child's search for himself and help overcome these problems. No matter how the adolescent behaved, before punishing him, stand in his place and try to understand how difficult it is for him during this period. Let not immediately, but the child will appreciate your support and will be grateful to you for the rest of your life.